Bum Reviews: Pokemon the First Movie

And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum... Tonight's review: Pokemon: the First Movie

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OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

Pokemon, gotta catch'em- SPOILERS!

There's this thing called Mewtwo, and he's a clone of this pokemon called Mew.

And he's like:

"What am I?"
"A clone"
"Why did you make me?"
"Just because."
"I don't like that. You die now."
"Oh poop."
"*punch*"

So he blows up the lab and this guy named Giovanni comes along and is like.

"Work for me and I'll make you stronger."
"Okay."

So Mewtwo goes to work for Giovanni but then one day Giovanni is like.

"Ha! Fooled you! I'm just using you for my own goals!"

"I don't like that. I'm going to blow this place up."

"Oh poop."

So he blows up the island and somehow Giovanni survives.

And Mewtwo decides he'll rule the world.

OF COURSE!

So then there's this kid named Ash and no he doesn't hunt zombies. He's a pokemon trainer!

I WAS A POKEMON TRAINER ONCE! For some reason everything was colored red.

So this dragon thing appears and gives them this hologram thing telling Ash he's been chosen to go to this island.

So he goes there and finds a bunch of other trainers there and Mewtwo shows up!


And Mewtwo is like,
"You all suck. So I'm taking your pokemon."
"You'll have to beat them first!"

"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"

"I win."
"Crap!"

So Mewtwo clones all the pokemon and then Mew shows up and all the pokemon start fighting their clones.

"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"
"*punch*"

And while this is going on everyone's all sad and realize that fighting is wrong even though we've clearly seen them fighting before this.

And then Ash gets stoned! ... I mean turned to stone!

I was turned to stone once! ... Or was that got stoned?

So all the pokemon start crying and Ash gets turned back to normal somehow.

HOORAY!

So Mewtwo is like.

"I now realize how bad fighting is."

"HOORAY!"

"I'm going to take the clones with me and wipe your memory."

"HOORA- what?"

"*flash*"

The End!

So even though it wasn't really that good a movie it was really fun to watch.

This is Chester A. Bum saying, "CHAAAAANGE! YA GOT CHAAANGE?! AW, COME ON, HELP A GUY OUT WILL YA?! COME ON, CHANGE!"

I want to get that new pokemon made of pot!